Thursday, May 14, 2015

Tragedy

Tragedy.
A simple, yet loaded word.  One word can conjure up images of millions of lives lost, as well as a broken iPhone screen.
The Human race has created art out of tragedy.  From Oedipus, to Hamlet, to Edward Albee's work of fiction as seen in The Zoo Story or Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf;
tragedy can become an individual burden, or can swarm over an entire generation.
Tragedy can be gradual, as in a long struggle with cancer, or can be instantaneous, as seen in the Nepalese earthquakes or the Amtrak derailment.
Tragedy can bring people together, or tear people apart.
And in some cases, do both.

What was God thinking?  Why add tragedy to an already complicated existence?
Or..
Why did tragedy have to evolve?  What does tragedy have to do with the sustainability of the human race as it emerged from the tar pits of history?

I guess tragedy is how we learn.

Tragedy is where we appreciate stories of fortune.
The survivor pulled from the rubble.  The child crying out from the wreckage.  The remission of a debilitating disease that no longer has a grasp over an individual's well being.  A phone that still works despite a glaring flaw on a glass screen.

Often times, however, we forget to learn.  Politicians use tragedies to back up their causes and do not pause to see the root causes of the tragedies themselves.  Victims of tragedies sometimes immediately look for something or someone to blame.  Those who may be the cause of a tragedy immediately find a way to justify their actions.

My hope, at least for myself, is to slow down and not view the tragedies in the moments they occur as these giants, bent on destroying and crushing my well being, my mood, my sanity.  My hope is to change each instance of failure and fault into an instance where new information can be attained.  A new way of looking at things.  A new way of appreciating things.  And maybe a new way of solving things.

Who knows; maybe tragedy will lead to and even better screen for the iPhone 7.

Sunday, January 4, 2015

The challenge of creativity

Creativity is a challenge.
In today's society, there are so many temptations that keep me from being creative.  Watching hours of shows on Netflix.  While those moments may give me inspiration from creativity, I am not acting on it.  I am only consuming it.  Which, don't get me wrong, is not a bad thing.  However, when I consume the same shows, same series', same episodes over and over, it no longer becomes simply consuming one's product, but an addiction of the same product.  Spending random moments reading articles online, tapping the screen of my smartphone, playing mobile games, wasting away in a device as big as my middle school scientific calculator.  Pushing buttons.  Over and over...over and over...over and over....

Which then defines me.

Addiction.  If only I could be addicted to being creative daily.
I have been addicted to the drink.  I have been addicted to cigarettes.  I have been addicted to running (ironically while struggling with drink and cigarettes).  I have been addicted to the TV, to spending, to coffee...
I need a new addiction.  I need creativity to be my new addiction.  Every day a new chapter in my book.  A new story.  A new song.  Something I can show someplace in sometime.
Creativity is a challenge when you realize your own product never seems finished.  Constantly editing, changing, not being satisfied.  I have songs that I wrote when I was in high school that I try to fix and change.  Rarely am I satisfied with the end product.  While I satisfied that I have a product, in the end, it feels like an empty satisfaction.
Which leads to the addiction of wanting to be recognized.  Which should never really be the goal of creativity.  But it is a challenge of creativity: Do I create because I want to create?  Do I create to gain some sort of external satisfaction (an award, a few bucks, a standing ovation, a Facebook like).
It's like those friends you have on social media that post selfies every single day.
DO they do it out of an internal satisfaction of taking a selfie, or do they post it to get the external gratification of a comment "You are so cute/handsome."  Like.  Like.  Like.

I guess the book I am working on is my "selfie".  Its what I want to promote.  Both internally and externally.  But there in lies the challenge of creativity: Finding the balance between the two.

Soon I will have edited the first three chapters of my book for the fourth time.  Each time, lacking in satisfaction.  Each time, making changes, some drastic, and others subtle.  A never ending process that will eventually end....yet not end...in the end.
And that is the challenge of creativity.

Wednesday, November 26, 2014

Round 2 of edits and Random Adventures of Random Hill High Prologue!

Writing this teen fiction has been an interesting process.  The intimidation of the market looms, the editing of inconsistencies in the novel, the switching and shifting of words, lines, and non-sequitors.  Trying to make things flow.  Trying to be funny without trying to be funny.  Trying to remember how to write Spanish characters, using an open source word processor instead of Word.  In the end, whether I get published or not, whether a self published title gets any sales, or whether it all ends in some archive somewhere, my goal is to write a book I can be proud of.  Something I can read to my kids (theoretically, of course).  I used to write in middle school fun little stories because my imagination refused to be held in check.  I wrote in college to be known and seen.  I have written segments and excerpts of unfinished books over the years to prepare myself for fame and fortune.  And now, I realize that I need to write for the same reason I wrote in middle school.  Not for money, glory, or fame.  Most of the stuff I wrote in middle school still remains hidden in a purple spiral notebook.  I need to write because my imagination needs an outlet.  I need to write so I can create a world I can enter, I can manipulate, I can create.  A world that, even if I am the only reader, allows me to escape, even if it is just for those few moments while I sit at a Starbucks with headphones on streaming albums on Spotify from groups no one has heard.

While I am still editing, and will be editing more for the next few months, here is a taste from the book (Prologue).  I will need to edit the Prologue again as well, so feel free to make comments, ask questions, or email me at rdelatorrepegueros@gmail.com if you want to make a suggestion!  also follow me @rudythewriter on twitter!  So, "without further Apu," here is the prologue!

Prologue to The Random Adventures of Random Hill High School

“I seriously cannot believe this is happening!”
David Ramirez was distraught. His brown eyes stared at a calender hanging lopsided from a radio station magnet on the fridge in the kitchen. Under the “Law Office of Jose Hernandez” advertisement that was typical of most of the calendars used by those in David's neighborhood, was one of the worst words anyone can say to a sixteen year old at Random Hill.

September.

“I don't know what you are talking about. I am suuuuuuuper excited!”
David's little sister, Esmerelda, or Esme as every one who knew her called her, was jumping around the kitchen with an apple that looked like it had lost a battle to a vampire. Her light brown eyes shimmered brightly with excitement.
“That's because you're barely starting high school,” David interjected, turning around to face his sister.
“You just wait. You will learn to dread the first week of September.”
With a swift motion, he slid his slender body onto a chair and leaned forward with his pointy elbows on the kitchen table, which had a brown wooden fruit bowl missing a member of its team. Esme slid her tiny figure into a chair across from David, her straight black hair landing over her face in the same motion. She swiped her hair back and leaned forward to hear how David was once again, trying to slow down her excitement. David leaned forward, wiped away a tiny fly that was circling around his short wavy hair, and began to tell Esme about the high school experience.
“The awkward first day of school where you are trying to tell how easy your teachers will be; the weird moments where you run into someone you dated for two weeks; the sitting for one hour in a desk with a back made out of the hardest material they could find; the six times you have to introduce yourself with meaningless get to know me activities; Seriously, does every teacher have to know what my favorite movie is on the first day of school?”
Esmerelda rolled her eyes. She slid out of her chair, took one last bite of the apple and was about to put the core back on the kitchen table and skip out of the kitchen when their mom came in.
“Esme, what have I told you about leaving your apples on the table!” she said with a stern, yet loving voice.
Esmerelda paused in moment of guilt, then grabbed the apple and skipped towards the trash can in the kitchen, slam dunked the apple, and skipped away off to the living room to read a book. David got back out of the chair and went back to staring at the calendar, and suddenly was completely lost in thought.
“Are you waiting for the jugo de naranja to cool down? I just put it in the fridge an hour ago, so you are going to have to wait somewhere else.”
“No mom. I'm thinking about what I want to do on Monday.”
“Your first day of school? Don't you do what you always do on the first day? Get a ride from Johnny, get into some trouble, and then you boys come back here to talk and eat all my food?”
“We don't eat all your food, Mom. Your daughter the apple monster eats most of it.”
“Maybe,” Davids mom smiled, the kind of caring smile only a Mom could give. “But still, what are you looking so worried about?”
David took his eyes off the calendar and looked thoughtfully at his mom.
“Its just...I'm a Junior this year. I only have 2 more years to make it. I have 2 more years to leave my legacy. 2 more years to do something so great that they will name one of the hallways after me.”
David's mom paused for a second, then went up to David and gave him a big hug, the kind that Hispanic Mom's are genetically engineered to give that automatically lead to comfort.
“David, you are too young to be worrying about all that. Just do well in school and your job at Bun Hut Burgers, have fun with your friends, and don't get into any trouble. That's all I ask.”
David smiled. “That's all?”
David's mom casually released the hug, went to a small closet in the kitchen, grabbed a broom and handed it to David.

“NOW that's all.”

Sunday, November 9, 2014

The Random Adventures of Random Hill High School Preview!

Meet David Ramirez

David Ramirez is a Junior at Random Hill High School, located in the fine town of Random Hill.  As a Random Hill High Rhino, David is expected to abide by the school's motto of "Rhino Pride.  Rhino Strength.  Rhino Tradition."  Live most rhinos in the real world, David can be stubborn and adventurous, yet lazy and always incredibly hungry.  However, one thing that David does not lack, is imagination.  And it is this imagination that gets him in, and out, of many awkward, unusual, and sometimes "typical high school" situations.  But then again, what usually happens at Random Hill is anything but typical, and extremely...random!
There was that one time David convinced his counselor that he was allergic to the plants in his period six Math class just so he could be transferred to the Period 1 Math class that his best friend, Johnny Tran, was in.  It worked, despite there not being any plants in his period six math class.  Of course, that math class was Pre-Calculus, and David did not know much about derivatives and absolute values.  But, using sneaky methods, as well as directly copying Johnny's assignments, he was able to fool most of his classmates, and the teachers, into thinking he actually belonged in the class.
David lives with his Mom and his little sister, Esme, who is starting her Freshman year and Random Hill High School.  Growing up in a single parent home, David spent a lot of time looking over his sister while their Mom was at work, so he was a little protective of her.  But at the same time, they had a healthy rivalry, one where Esme was allowed to make mistakes, just so David could laugh and gloat (he could have easily once told her that the chilaquiles she was about to take a bite out of were steaming hot, but he wanted to see her eyes light up in shock from the heat in her mouth).
While athletic, David never really got into organized sports teams.  He played on the Novice Soccer team as a Freshman, and plans on trying out for the Varsity team this year after a one year hiatus.  But his job flipping burgers at the Bun Hut may get in the way of practices and games.
There is one thing, though, that he does have his dedicated eye on.  Melanie Rivera.  Melanie is one of those smart, beautiful girls that come once in a lifetime.  And David knows this.  Of course, being a smart girl, she finds herself more in the AP courses with Johnny, and in leadership clubs with some of the more socially forward students at the school.  David knows he will find a way to win her heart.  He just needs to have a plan.  And a big part of this plan is Johnny.

Johnny Tran lives with his parents a few miles down the road from David in the nicer part of town.  He is one of the smartest Juniors at the school, and spends his free time listening to very obscure music, as well as perfecting his skills on his guitar.  Both his parents work long hours, so the only time he really sees them is in the morning when his Dad takes him in the family Lexus to school, and in the evenings when after gets picked up from either school or David's house in a rush.  They day he bonded with David, he was trying not to look like bad during a middle school PE soccer game.  David, seeing Johnny struggle just to kick the ball straight, gave him some pointers in exchange for answers on a math test.  Since then, he has been a big part of Johnny's life, and a regular guest at the Mexican dinner table.  Johnny has his heart set on making it to a great college, as well as finally having the courage to speak to Stephanie Sanderson.  Stephanie, one year older, miles ahead in the social spectrum of high school.  A cheerleader, a constant face on the homecoming podium since her Freshman year, yet one who never let any of the attention get to her head.  Johnny once saw her reading a very obscure indie book, and from that moment on, knew she was "the one."

Junior year is about to start at Random Hill High School.  David, Johnny, and Esme are ready to take on the new experiences they will encounter this year.  Little do they know that one of them will find a time traveling cube that could only be used three times, that there is a classroom at the school that held the world's most comfortable tissue paper, that they would discover how to find a never ending sports drink bottle in the middle of a hot day, and that opening an old Dictionary from the 18th Century would lead to a new, yet very old, friend, as well as possibly a new romance.  There are the adventures these three will have.
These are the random adventures at Random Hill High School.  Coming soon!  :)

Saturday, April 6, 2013

Everyone Has a Story


EVERYONE HAS A STORY (APRIL 4, 2013)

8 a.m.
The alarm has been going off for about 30 minutes.
She refuses to get out of bed to go to work.
She knows when she gets there, her boss will ask her about the money.
The 50 bucks that went missing from the register.
The 50 bucks she “borrowed” to pay the gas and electric bill.
The 50 bucks she cleverly snuck out between customers nonchalantly buying clothes worth hundreds of dollars, manufactured for a lot less.

Or maybe....

Maybe her boss would not notice.
Maybe no one will double check the cash register balance sheet she forged.
Maybe no one will really care.
I mean, its 50 bucks.
Thats a lot to her. But to a company that makes that much money in a minutes time...
Shouldn't be a big deal, right?

No.

They'd still fire her.
But at least she'd have some electricity and heat for the rest of the month

Time to get up. To shower. To change. To eat. To get in the car.

She didn't have the kids this week.  Normally her teenage son and daughter would be loaded into the back like zombies heading to the school they dreaded going to.
They were at their dad's, getting dropped off by that girl of his.

The one thats partly responsible for the mess that she has suddenly been thrust into.

She pulls out of the driveway of the appartment complex, no seatbelt on, with only one reverse tail light working, and heads down the road to a stop sign. As she approaches the stop sign in her 1988 Toyota Camry, on its last leg since 1998, another car stops across the intersection. At the exact same time.

A brand new BMW M6.
Fresh. Clean.
Inside, a middle aged man, dressed to the nines. He waits to see if the Camry is going to go first. He is a patient man. An honest man.
Polite.

A throwback to when gentleman roamed the earth.

He drove the speed limit to get to that intersection. He always makes sure to have a seatbelt on, a working turn signal on when needed, and polished rims when necessary.
You would think, today was a typical day for him. Nothing really different about how he approached the stop sign, how he drove that day, or how he pulled out of his garage.
He smiled and waved to the neighbor as he left the house. He fed and played with his dogs before getting into the car.
He woke up on time with his alarm, bright and early. 6:30 a.m.
He did his usual morning routine. He showered. Changed into his work clothes. Stopped by the local coffee spot for a coffee and a breakfast bagel sandwhich.
He said hi to the barista. He chatted it up with the friendly elderly man who was always with a newspaper sitting in front of the coffee shop.

An unchanged routine for years

His morning, nothing different than any other morning.
At least that what he hoped everyone would believe.
He hoped his employees wouldn't ask.
He was glad his morning acquaintances didn't ask.
He knew his close friends knew.
He knew some of his coworkers knew.
He took a few days off.
But he was driving back to work today for the first time since then.
And he did not want questions. He just wanted things to go back to normal.
He wanted to get into his office chair, catch up on the work his secretary has been saving for him, and get on with life.
He did not want to forget. But he did not want to dwell.
He just wanted a version of normalcy that one could possible muster after this.
After a death.
After the death of his youngest son.